Anyone have an experience with depression?

[Bees*Knees]

My stepson, Matt, came to live with us in July. His mother/stepfather/him had serious issues, and he left. We now have custody. He hates being in school here. I have investigated homeschooling, but just don't feel he will take the initiative without constant nagging and structure from me. That won't be healthy for any of us.
I got an indication from someone that he was posting on a suicide forum. This person confronted him and he said it was just fantasy posting. I logged in this morning to read with horror the things he was posting.
Of course, I called my husband right away and read some of the things to him. He thinks that it is just him trying to get attention. Well, hello. He's got mine now.
He has a counseling appt coming up next Thursday. I made it for him several weeks ago when he got in school suspension and wouldn't talk to us about why he cut class.
So. I am so out of my league here. Should I keep an eye on him and take him to the scheduled appt? Should I call and try to get him in sooner? When someone posts/talks about hurting themselves, are they serious or just bouncing ideas off of someone else? Was anyone else here a depressed teenager?
Obviously, I'm not going to sit on my butt in front of the computer today waiting for answers, but any experiences/thoughts you could share sure would help at this point. Thanks.

[Aliebama]

I would try to get him help asap.. like an appt today!! Better Safe then sorry
:hug: :hug:

[MotherMoon]

I'd call and tell them you suspect he might be suicidal based on some internet postings and see what advice they have. I suspect they may suggest he be hospitalized or at least seen ASAP to see if he needs to be. I have been suicidal. You are not rational. Your depression is so bad that your brain is seeing things from such a terrible standpoint. Get him help. Fantasy has a basis.

When things calm down, you might want to consider de-schooling depending on what his biggest struggles are.

[guest]

You can call me if you want to. My dd is depressed and on meds. She has been in therapy for years and has spent some time in the hospital. We are still trying to find the right combo of meds/therapy/coping techniques and I certainly don't have all the answers but I may be able to give you some ideas.

I think it might be worth trying to get him in sooner to a therapist, like today. Call back and tell them the situation and they may be able to get you into an emergency visit.

ETA- pm me if you want my phone number or pm your number and I'll call you if you want to talk

Big hugs to you, this is tough!

[Bees*Knees]

Thanks everyone. Making phone calls.

[MotherMoon]

Your and your DH's support will help more than anything. Remember, depression is real and he can't make it go away anymore than you can make the flu go away. It is not his fault!

[Leetahalfelven]

I applaud what everyone has said! I have a BA in Psych and have suffered from severe depression since puberty - was suicidal & made several attempts. Lost a great friend/EX to suicide in highschool because everyone thaought he was just trying to get attention and they ignored him.

The first thing they teach us in Counseling is to NEVER WRITE IT OFF AS JUST ATTENTION GETTING - it may be on some level, but to look at it that way is "you" (in general) being in denial of the situation and taking a terrible risk.

2 of my attempts were to prove that I wasn't just "talking about it." When I found out that my dad thought I was just trying to get attention & or embarrass his family name.... I got angry and decided that I wanted to do it just to spite him, on top of my depression.

Not trying to scare you. Just trying to get you to see how a teen's mind works when they are depressed and toying w/ the idea of suicide. Underneath it all is a very real sense that they really have nothing to lose... and THAT is the most dangerous part of it all. A teen's propensity for impulsive & overemotional/overreactive behavior can act on that all too quickly. Then it's too late.

SHOW him consistant care & concern for his life on a UNIFIED basis w/ your husband and get him counseling/intervention TODAY! It may be rough at first, because he may resent you for it.... but later on he will be alive and more level headed and be thankful for it. Even if he never tells you.

TLC & Tough Love can go hand in hand. You should both also get counseling to learn how best to handle him through this delicate time. As a family, you can get through it. But denial is dangerous.

<<HUGS>> :grouphug: :hug: :bighug: :hugs:

PS- I have been through 4-5 years of therapy & have been stablized on an antidepressant for over5 yrs now. It took 5 yrs to find the right meds before that, but they have better meds and more learned Psych Dr's now. I am very well adjusted and very thankful for everything that happened in my life. It makes me who I am today - mistakes and all - and now I can relate to others and help! There can be a rainbow at the end! :)

[minnielizabeth]

I'm getting in on this kinda late. I hope that you have found help for Matt. I agree with everyone above. In a situation where someone has talked or written about suicide it is best to get help as soon as possible. Most of the time at work we advise parents to take the child to Children's ER. They will evaluate them and admitt them if needed. If not needed they will probably make a referral for follow up. If you do go to Children's it may take a while (hours), but you need to do what is best for Matt. Yesterday their beds were full. If they don't have a bed they will make sure they find a bed at another facility.

[Bees*Knees]

Here's an update. Thank you everyone for your replies and prayers.

Matt had an appt today. He did not want me to go in with him, so I looked at him and said "just remember, baby steps." He stayed in there for almost the full hour, which is a vast improvement from the last time. He seemed in a good mood, and had follow up appt cards when he came out to me. They've also referred him to a psychiatrist for one appt, I suppose to dispense meds.
Please, continue to keep this child in your prayers. He has been thru such a time. I think he's just having trouble adjusting to a "normal" household.

[MotherMoon]

I just realized where you are. Did he see someone in Montg. I can recommend someone, a psychologist.

[Bees*Knees]

We've not got too many choices here, so he is initially going to Cheaha Facilities. They set him up with a psychologist and our associate pastor is also a trained psychologist, so we may alternate the two.
Thank you for your thoughts.

[ebutterfly782]

I'm sort-of late on this but....

I am a teacher of a class of students with many, many issues. They are in my class solely because they are at least a year behind in school and might or have already, dropped out. I have learned a lot in dealing with these kids. Make sure that he continues to see somebody and finds the right combo of meds. One problem that I have encountered is that the kids don't see an immediate reaction to the meds so they quit taking them. Give them time! Then switch. Let them know that they can talk to you or find them somebody to talk to whenever they want. I have a couple of girls that will write notes to me discussing problems. I ALWAYS write them back and take care of them.

He has a lot going for him. He has you and his dad trying to help him. Keep at it momma! Maybe everything will get straightened out soon!

Sherrie

[MadandERsMomma]

Voc REhab might be able to help too and it is usally free to AL residents that qualify.

[Bees*Knees]

What is Voc Rehab? I've not heard of that. Vocational training?