Do we have any anti-circ resources here?

[Erika]

I was just wondering if we did and if not could they be placed here?

[boscopup]

I don't think so, but MDC has a ton. We could probably steal links from there. ;)

[Hayes]

Go for it Erika! Post the links where it seems most appropriate.
Hayes

[AlabamaGalSusie]

Bear in mind that taking the position that circumcision is child abuse, which is what the OP does according to her blinkie (and am I right in thinking from the poster's siggie that the poster is not a mother?) will alienate a lot of people. My son is not circumcised, but if he were, I wouldn't want to hang out on a forum where someone was saying I was a child abuser.

[Hayes]

Susie, I agree with you. Information, backed up by reliable sources, is fine. Inflamatory opnions are not.

I have 1 circ'd son and 2 intact.

[Erika]

well I wanted to compile a list of anti circ resources.

Susie, I do not think that there is anything wrong with you circ.
I am talking about the people who circ and know what they are doing. Please don't feel that I have hard feelings against you. I can remove the siggy if you would like.

[Andi]

My son is circ'd and honestly the blinkie does make me feel bad/sad. But I would like to see the info so that I could make a more informed decision should I have another son one day.

[AlabamaGalSusie]

Erika, I think the "don't mess with perfection blinkie" is better. I know some people have very strong feelings about circumcision, but I think it goes too far to call it child abuse, at least in an online community where it's essential that we treat all loving parents with respect. Is circumcision unnecessary? Sure. But abusive? No way. Child abuse is a crime; circumcision is not. I don't object at all to sharing information.

Andi, FWIW, my ds's intact-itude is almost accidental. (The story's in my birth story.) I read some pretty extreme views from the anti-circ crowd and from the pro-circ crowd and found that the information from each side made me feel equally creepy. I hope neither of our sons ever obsesses about his penis to that extent! My dh assured me that he would be fine either way, and our ped said he just wouldn't bother. Our ped also said that the OBs were doing circumcisions differently than they did when our husbands were circumcised and that the "look" is more diverse these days, for whatever that's worth in the locker room department.

[Erika]

Andi -- Cristy and Kathy are looking into making the info avaliable. I would love to see it too!

Susie -- I'm sorry that I see it as abuse. I plan on reading the birth story now.

[dakarimom5]

I have 1 circ and 3 un-circ. I have never been asked about my little guy's privates until my DH mentioned we didn't have it done. The amount of people that voiced an opinion was crazy!!! Never once have I ever asked someone about their son's penis!!! Whether you do or not...I just don't think it's my business to know.

[AlabamaGalSusie]

I have 1 circ and 3 un-circ. I have never been asked about my little guy's privates until my DH mentioned we didn't have it done. The amount of people that voiced an opinion was crazy!!! Never once have I ever asked someone about their son's penis!!! Whether you do or not...I just don't think it's my business to know.

Sorry for the TMI!

And sorry that everybody had to have an opinion concerning your sons' privates. Gee whiz. I seriously hope that the urge to comment on this issue is limited to know-it-alls who want to give you their opinion on your decision as a parent. I will be seriously peeved if anyone ever voices such opinions to our boys. I guess I should be ready, but I will still be peeved.

[boscopup]

Yeah, that's a bit rude to comment on a boy's penis. I mean, I've seen plenty of circ'd boys during diaper changes in the church nursery, and I've NEVER said a word. It's not my place! Do I think people should circ? No I don't, BUT I don't think it's my place to make that decision for them, and I do think there are alot worse things that people could do. I don't liken it to beating a child or other such abuse. I just think it's an unnecessary procedure that has risks for the baby, and I don't personally see any reason to take those risks. But that's just for me and MY kids.

So far, only one person has asked me if I circ'd, and it was because she knew I was semi-crunchy and she didn't circ her boy and was curious as to whether I'd made the same decision. I didn't know she didn't circ, so I was happy for the question because we both found someone local and in our "church family" (we go to different congregations) that didn't circ. Most of the folks I know locally who don't circ are in the crunchy crowd. There aren't as many mainstream non-circ'ers around here.

[Katybeth]

I am talking about the people who circ and know what they are doing.
Well then you are talking about me... My son is circ'd and I am fine with this decision. Like everything that concerned both of my pregnancies, births, and any health issue concerning either of my children-I researched and read as much as I could get my hands on. I watched videos of circumcisions. I spoke wth several doctors. I even spoke with my uncle who had his circ done at age 12 (my grandfather had one at age 40 or so). I spoke with my friends who chose to as well as those who chose not to circ their sons. It was not an easy decision and for the longest time I was all set not to do it. In the end it was a decision that was made with a lot of research (both sides of the argument), as well as one that my dh & I made together.

I take very seriously the health and well being of my children. I spend the little free time that I have reading up on how to improve my role as a parent. I put them first. Doesn't sound like child abuse to me.

When you start to research anything try to look at all angles before you come up with a decision for yourself and yours. (Have you read anything about the ongoing clinical trials concerning circ that the World Health Organization reported on this past summer?)

Last but not least... Mamas need to support each other- not judge. In fact the world could use a lot less judgement & a lot more acceptance of others differences and different opinions/decisions right now. :grouphug:

I was offended by your blinkie and comments but I thank you for the opportunity to let me rant a little.

[dakarimom5]

Sorry for the TMI!

And sorry that everybody had to have an opinion concerning your sons' privates. Gee whiz. I seriously hope that the urge to comment on this issue is limited to know-it-alls who want to give you their opinion on your decision as a parent. I will be seriously peeved if anyone ever voices such opinions to our boys. I guess I should be ready, but I will still be peeved.

Susie I wasn't talking about you!!!! I was talking about my family!!! At every family gathering I have at least 1 person come up and ask if I've cut my boys yet:holysheep: My BIL actually tried to forcibly retract the skin on one of my boys...:eek: :af: MY DH caught him and stopped him!! He told him not to touch other people's winkies!!!

[Erika]

I was offended by your blinkie and comments but I thank you for the opportunity to let me rant a little.

:grouphug: I'm sorry that you and Susie were both offended. I have changed it and I'm very sorry.

Where did the quote that you made before come from? I called myself looking, but I didn't find it.

I never ment to start any debate, I just wanted to ask a question and compile a list because I had some extra time and I am very passionate about no circ.

Sorry girls.

[Erika]

thanks Kym. I try to always been respectful and helpful at all times!

[etorres]

I just thought this thread and thought I'd chime in with a little piece of info that has popped up in my life lately. DH was not circ'd as a baby and, as an adult, he's had lots of problems as a result. I've always leaned strongly towards one decision when it came to this issue, and I thought I knew what I'd do with my own ds if I ever had any.

Now, at 22 years old, my dh is thinking about getting circ'd. The problems he's having are (probably TMI :) ) killing our sex life and he's getting tired of it. I've heard that the procedure is much more painful for a grown man, and the whole idea of it worries me.

With that being said, I just don't know what I'd do with my own ds now. I know what dh would want to do. I know that I still have the same feelings about it. I just honestly don't know what I would do anymore.

[AlabamaGalSusie]

Susie I wasn't talking about you!!!! I was talking about my family!!!

I knew that! There's no smilie that captures my sense of irony. But I did reveal the info about my ds ... and like you said, it's nobody's business but ours.


At every family gathering I have at least 1 person come up and ask if I've cut my boys yet:holysheep: My BIL actually tried to forcibly retract the skin on one of my boys...:eek: :af: MY DH caught him and stopped him!! He told him not to touch other people's winkies!!!

:noway: :thud: :hopmad:

OK, the smilies kind of belittle my sense of outrage about that. That's REALLY horrifying.

[granolamommy]

At every family gathering I have at least 1 person come up and ask if I've cut my boys yet:holysheep: My BIL actually tried to forcibly retract the skin on one of my boys...:eek: :af: MY DH caught him and stopped him!! He told him not to touch other people's winkies!!!

That is BEYOND outrageous!!!! I would be furious, and these people ( I don't care WHO they are) would definitely feel my wrath:af: It sounds like your BIL has taken this too far, it also sounds a bit like it started out as a joke. You NEED to let him know that to forcibly retract his nephew's skin could cause tearing and adhesions to form that could cause this precious baby problems for the REST OF HIS LIFE!!! I doubt that he is aware of this, and surely would not want to cause this sweet boy lifelong pain and problems for the sake of a joke. :(

[willngrace]

Susie I wasn't talking about you!!!! I was talking about my family!!! At every family gathering I have at least 1 person come up and ask if I've cut my boys yet:holysheep: My BIL actually tried to forcibly retract the skin on one of my boys...:eek: :af: MY DH caught him and stopped him!! He told him not to touch other people's winkies!!!


WHAT?!! :doh:

[granolamommy]

I just thought this thread and thought I'd chime in with a little piece of info that has popped up in my life lately. DH was not circ'd as a baby and, as an adult, he's had lots of problems as a result. I've always leaned strongly towards one decision when it came to this issue, and I thought I knew what I'd do with my own ds if I ever had any.

Now, at 22 years old, my dh is thinking about getting circ'd. The problems he's having are (probably TMI :) ) killing our sex life and he's getting tired of it. I've heard that the procedure is much more painful for a grown man, and the whole idea of it worries me.

With that being said, I just don't know what I'd do with my own ds now. I know what dh would want to do. I know that I still have the same feelings about it. I just honestly don't know what I would do anymore.

I had been reluctant to chime into this discussion because of our own special circurmstances. But they are very similar to yours. I am sorry that you and your husband especially, are having to endure this. :hugs:

I do not agree with routine circ. I feel that every parent has a duty to their children to weigh the risks and benefits of any procedure they are considering for their child. I did not want my boys circ'ed, and was quite passionate about it. But I also felt that my husband should have a say in the matter too. Not just because he's a guy, but because he is a parent, and his opinions are just as valid as mine.
With our first son, I presented him with all the info, and I tried valiantly to change his mind about wanting our son circ'ed, but in the end I reluctantly let my son be circ'ed.
With our second son I vowed that I WOULD change my husband's mind, and this baby boy would be intact. We had many, many disscussions about it, I shed many tears, recounting how I'd felt after our first son was circ'ed. I couldn't understand why my husband wasn't budging on his views. Till one night he confided in me that he wasn't circ'ed till he was 10. It was after enduring many years of pain and constant problems that his parents decided to have it done. The same thing had happened to his brother, who had to be circ'ed when he was 8. His father also had had problems and wasn't circed till after he was an adult. Because of this family history he was not willing to budge on his decision.
For once I clearly understood. This was not something that he wanted to have DONE to our sons, it was something he wanted to PROTECT them from. None of the research, articles, opinions, or anything else I could present to him held a candle to what he had experienced! For he, his brother, and his father the problems they had were not the result of poor hygiene or anything that they could have prevented. He had a chance to prevent the same thing from happening to his boys, and he wasn't willing to change his position on the matter.
Although, I still believe that routine circ'ing, without educating yourself on the matter, is wrong, my views and opinions have changed due to our cicumstances. I generally stay away from discussions and forums dealing with circumcision, because it is a painful subject for me. However, I would welcome the information posted for other's benefit, provided that the topic is approached in a very open minded and compassionate manner. :hug:

[etorres]

I had been reluctant to chime into this discussion because of our own special circurmstances. But they are very similar to yours. I am sorry that you and your husband especially, are having to endure this. :hugs:

I do not agree with routine circ. I feel that every parent has a duty to their children to weigh the risks and benefits of any procedure they are considering for their child. I did not want my boys circ'ed, and was quite passionate about it. But I also felt that my husband should have a say in the matter too. Not just because he's a guy, but because he is a parent, and his opinions are just as valid as mine.
With our first son, I presented him with all the info, and I tried valiantly to change his mind about wanting our son circ'ed, but in the end I reluctantly let my son be circ'ed.
With our second son I vowed that I WOULD change my husband's mind, and this baby boy would be intact. We had many, many disscussions about it, I shed many tears, recounting how I'd felt after our first son was circ'ed. I couldn't understand why my husband wasn't budging on his views. Till one night he confided in me that he wasn't circ'ed till he was 10. It was after enduring many years of pain and constant problems that his parents decided to have it done. The same thing had happened to his brother, who had to be circ'ed when he was 8. His father also had had problems and wasn't circed till after he was an adult. Because of this family history he was not willing to budge on his decision.
For once I clearly understood. This was not something that he wanted to have DONE to our sons, it was something he wanted to PROTECT them from. None of the research, articles, opinions, or anything else I could present to him held a candle to what he had experienced! For he, his brother, and his father the problems they had were not the result of poor hygiene or anything that they could have prevented. He had a chance to prevent the same thing from happening to his boys, and he wasn't willing to change his position on the matter.
Although, I still believe that routine circ'ing, without educating yourself on the matter, is wrong, my views and opinions have changed due to our cicumstances. I generally stay away from discussions and forums dealing with circumcision, because it is a painful subject for me. However, I would welcome the information posted for other's benefit, provided that the topic is approached in a very open minded and compassionate manner. :hug:

DeAnn,

Thanks for sharing :bighug: back to you! Just as our husbands will never really be able to understand (beyond the facts) how routine episiotomy makes many of us feel, we as women will probably never be understand how our husbands really view circ. The effects of being circ'd or not circ'd can have some pretty strong emotional effects on men, and they can have a really difficult time sharing it with their so or wives. In the past, when dh and I would talk about circ, we were very much like you guys--I was strongly against, he was strongly for. He never explained why, and I never understood until recently when he finally did explain.

In the end, I second what you said--it's about avoiding what's *routine* and making a conscious effort to educate yourself. Once your educated, the choice is in your hands. This is my philosophy about birth, parenting, and most other things in life. I just wanted to provide a different perspective for other mamas here who may not have dealt with similar issues.

[dakarimom5]

I would just like to add that most people in our family including my BIL are just bewildered at us not circing the boys. I have heard everything from they will not have sex...ever!!... to they will get infections. I say this to them...as a woman I'm moist down there and you don't see people whacking my stuff!! That is called "barbaric"(sp) when other countries do it. And secondly I point out that the one child I have that has had an UTI was the circed one!!
I've learned that no one in my family agrees with any of the parenting choices that we make...so I just ignore them.

[~Ami~]

I am talking about the people who circ and know what they are doing. Please don't feel that I have hard feelings against you.I circumsized my sons and knew what I was doing. And I don't know why you would have hard feelings toward someone else for what they do to their sons? I've reread that sentence several times and still just don't understand why you would have hard feelings. That being said, I wasn't offended by your blinkie at all, I've seen it for a couple of weeks now and just dismissed it as absurd. Circumsion is certainly not abuse. But I do see how some people can view it that way. My husbands uncle worried me to death the day after Gus was born to leave him intact. This was a decision that Shawn and I made long before the boys were even concieved. We're happy with the decision and hopefully our boys will be too.
Honestly I think this is a personal decision for each family to make and other family members (and some friends) should butt out.
My BIL actually tried to forcibly retract the skin on one of my boys.THAT is child abuse! How dare he do that to your son! That is between you, your husband and your child! He soooooo crossed the line by doing that.

[smokyphoenix]

I haven't made my mind up if I will circ or not. DB is circ'd and he has never found displeasure at being so. But at the same time, I know both the pro's and cons of both sides, and also have the thought that, well, God put that little piece of skin there for a reason, and maybe I should leave it there. I know that if it were to be a problem later in life, then it could be taken care of then. I would, of course, talk it over with the doctor, DB, and I would read over articles supporting both sides. I would only want what was best for my baby :)